Lemme, Lemme Upgrade You
by Maria33 a.k.a. Rei Uzumaki
Summary: It just wasn't in Jazmine's nature to hate somebody, but when she REALLY wants to hate a certain cornrolled Deliquante things...things aren't working out...maybe she can change him? No....? Maybe...just a lil' bit...? a TINY litte? ...maybe?


_Italics _stand for thoughts along with the ' and ' beside them.

**Bold **er…that just stands for loudness in a way. X3

Disclaimer- I do not own The Boondocks or any of these characters, expect for Leroy, just usin' them to be usin' them. =7=  
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Chapter One**_- Hoes Got Cooties pt. 1  
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Riley & Jazmine.

She, Jazmine, was ten years old, an absolute cutie with her large emerald eyes filled with childlike wonder and naivety. Her race was almost undeterminable, with skin so fair she could more than likely be categorized as _Caucasian_. But, the only thing that stopped people from thinking she had been white had been the fact she had two golden-orange-like puffballs within her hair.

And, with nappy coarse hair like _that, _there was no absolute way she could fully be of the Caucasian race. So, she was a mulatto.

And he, Riley, was eight years old. Brown eyes filled with malevolence and mischief. You'd have to be dumb as hell to think that he hadn't been Black; with his cornrolls and light brown skin. His personality...

…his personality…

Ghetto.

Representing and showing he came from the 'rough-side-of-Chicago', the exact opposite of the little mulatto girl who often had wondered why he did the things he did.

The most scarring memory the sweet child had had was when he terrorized the mall under the alias of _The Santa Stalker_. Actually bringing guns, even a golf-club, in an attempt to assassinate the malls' 'Santa Claus.'

To certain degrees, Jazmine was scared of Riley Freeman.

For, he was everyone that she hadn't been. Malicious, Wild, Rude, the list could go on and on.

His older brother, who had been the same age as her, had been the opposite of her as well...along with being the opposite of Riley.

He was quiet.

Often focusing his mind on some sort of action he wished to do that could somehow change the world for the better or something...  
Jazmine really didn't know what was going on half the time-

That's why, she brought her doll to liven things up~!

Unfortunately, it had only made the young Revolutionary agitated.

Jazmine would try in attempt to make the cutest smile at him; her cheeks rosining up from the embarrassment of doing such a foolish deed, and giggle it off saying something like; _'But, she wanted to come, Huey!'_ or _'I didn't want her to get all lonely by herself in my bedroom'_, it hadn't worked.

He'd merely roll his eyes at the girl's ignorance.

---------------

Jazmine shifted her eyes to Huey.

He sat at the end of the table in comparison to her, who had sat next to her mother, and across from her had been Riley.

Huey was wearing his best clothes that he probably hadn't even wanted to wear to the Dubois' house.

His eyebrows firmly knitted down, his lips' edges down fiercely in a deadly scowl, and his arms folded firmly. In a way, the afro-sporting child had at the time looked something in-between a 'pouty child' and an 'angry black man' at the same time.

Jazmine sighed, playing in the salad that lain on her plate with her own pout.

_'He could've at least said 'hi Jazmine' when he came inside...' _

Riley, his younger brother, hadn't looked exactly all that pleased either.

Only instead of his older sibling's silent ness, he had complained and whined aloud, pointing out how Mrs. Dubois' food looked nasty like throw-up 'or somethin' *but then again, Riley always did this* and, he spoke of how he didn't wanna eat throw-up.

Jazmine had thought that it was stupid what Riley had been saying; _she _thought that her mother's cooking was the _best_.

"HUSH BOY!"

And as if Granddad's voice was law that could NOT be obeyed, Riley toned down--for a nanosecond. His eyes flickered, lips poked out until he had apparently thought of something to say,

"YOU CAN'T MAKE ME DO NOTHIN'!"

Huey let out a depressed sigh, Jazmine blinked, Sarah looked highly uncomfortable amongst the loud-mouthed African-Americans. And Tom, trying to be some sort of peace maker within his own home, without even making peace, had let out joyful laughter.

"I SAID TO MYSELF, I SAID TO MYSELF-"

His voice had been so vibrant and loud that it had almost topped the elder and young Freeman's boisterous voices. "-WHAT, AM I GOING TO DO WITH THESE FIVE TICKETS TO TEXAS, HUH~?!"

The lawyer had laughed some more whilst his Caucasian Wife, Mulatto Child, and Angry Black Boy stared at him. Even Riley and Granddad stopped their bickering to stare at the 'odd-man.'

"THAT'S WHY!" Tom's smile made his cheekbones go high, "I decided to let you three come along for the ride~! I mean, Jazmine COULD use some people to play with!"

Jazmine once against nudged her salad for a moment. Why FIVE tickets he had won? She actually pondered about that...

Then, her green eyes went to Huey again, tan-ish cheeks pinking.

If she and Huey were going to be together in Texas, maybe they could ride ponies together or something while dressing like a Cowboy and Cowgirl. A smile graced upon her lips and she tried not to giggle aloud from her thoughts.  
_  
'Yeah...that'd be nice...'_

"I don't want to go to Texas."

Jazmine's high spirits died along with her blushing cheeks.

"Boy! This a _FREE_ Trip!" Granddad scolded his eldest grandson, firmly putting his voice as he repeated, "FREE. Why you don't wanna go?!"

"Texas." Huey began, his angered expression still not changing, "Is still home to some racists. If I wanted to be called a nigga I'd just rather stay at home and be called one by Riley..."

Riley merely yawned in reply, "Nigga you gay."

Huey took the time just to stare his younger brother momentarily before eyeing his Grandfather, "I can take care of the house alone."

Jazmine let out a low whimper, desperately trying not to show this to anyone who had been at the table. _'But Huey, if you don't come...what am I supposed to do?'_

For a minute, the young mulatto could've sworn she had seen Riley stare at her before turning to Huey,

"Ay Huey! If you dun go, wuz Jazmine gon' do?!"

Jazmine blinked in amazement, it was like the little Juvenile-Delinquent had read her mind. Huey merely shrugged, probably bound to reply with something snide but instead, he replied,

"Why do you care, Riley?"

"Well..." Riley straightened his voice; "If you don't go, Jazmine might try ta fallow me 'round in shi-" Granddad was eyeing him, "STUFF." Riley 'corrected' himself, "n' I don't want dat! I mean, she's a-"

"A girl?" Tom had interrupted, a goofy smile on his face as his blonde-haired wife giggled.

Riley hadn't exactly saw what had been funny, so, he cocked an eyebrow and asked, "Wuz so funny?"

"Do girls have cooties, Riley?" Tom chuckled.

Riley blinked, "Wha? Cooties??" Even Granddad began to let out a chuckle at the remark. And soon, all the adults were laughing at him.

For a minute, he stared at the ever-naïve Jazmine before rolling his brown orbs at her. "Ft."

Violently, he jabbed his fork into his steak.

**PLUNGE **

*^*^*^*^*^_FREEMAN RESIDENCE~! _

**PLUNGE **

"Riley, you DO KNOW that Granddad's gonna be pissed about you damaging his furniture."

Huey's eyebrows had been raised at his sibling, his expression hadn't been an angered one nor shocked at Riley's action.

Riley jerked his knife 'Lucile' out from the yellow-tan looking wooden dresser, scowling deeply, "SO!?"

"SO..." Huey's voice leveled the younger male before making it go back to his calm tone, "Granddad is gonna beat your ass."

"Ft! Granddad's whoopins don't hurt _ME_, YUNG REEZY!" Riley shouted in his most energetic tone filled of self-esteem about his 'ego' and 'reputation' as Yung Reezy.

The young Revolutionary rolled his eyes, turning back to his computer typing away, "That's not what you say at night when you be cryin' yourself to sleep..." he acknowledged.

Riley huffed, slightly blushing. It was--as much as he HATED to admit it--true.

Granddad's beatings had been so...harsh, that he would have to cry in bed at night.

"PSH." 'Yung Reezy' smirked, "WHATEVA', NIGGA~!"

Huey hadn't replied, still typing away on his computer.

Riley frowned realizing that he was being ignored by his older brother. 'Sloppily' he approached him, "Man, nigga!"

"Umpfh!" Huey frowned at the sudden weight that had now lain on his shoulder,

"Whatchu doin'?" Riley curiously asked, analyzing the contents of the screen. "KKK? Ku Klux Clan? What the hell nigga?" Huey's expression stayed bleak as his Delinquent-of-a-brother stared at Huey in wonder, "Nigga, why you on a _KKK_ website!?"

Finally, the little Revolutionary let out a loud groan, turning the screen so swiftly that Riley _had _to blink. "It's for our PROTECTION." Huey growled between gritted teeth.

Riley couldn't help but to laugh at his stern brother's expression; wrinkles over his nose, teeth really barred down together, eyes beaming at him icily. Finally, Riley laughed like the child he was,

"Nigga, you...you...-!!"

"BOY, YOU GOT SOMEBODY AT THE DOOR FOR YA!!!"

Riley stopped laughing when hearing Granddad's voice, he frowned, "Is it CINDY?!" underneath his breath he hissed; 'God I hate dat blonde-bitch!'

"NO, IT'S LEROY!"

Riley grinned widely, "CHRIS TUCKER!"

As the corn rolled boy dashed out his bedroom, Huey mumbled things underneath his breath about how much of a dumb-ass-nigga his little brother had been.

*^*^*^*^

"WHAT UP CHRIS T.?!"

"..."

Riley's proclaimed side-kick stared at him in discomfort at the nickname. Riley smirked, "You ain't gon' CRY, is you?"

"N-naw! I don't CRY, Riley!"

Riley's smirk had grown wider.

Leroy hadn't been the right sidekick to ever ask for, being somewhat a goody-goody *in Riley's definition anyway* and yet a G at the same time, but, the nigga was from Chi-Town. And in a way…that was all that had mattered.

"You was BOO-HOOIN' when MJ cried!" Riley teased, pulling his fists over his eyes as if he had to wipe tears.

"MAN, DAT'S DIFFERENT NIGGA!"

"Huh?" Like an idiot, Riley had blinked, Leroy never yelled.

"MICHAEL JACKSON...HE WAS THE KING OF POP, YA HEARD?! HE'S A…HE'S A ANGEL!"

"Pop, is for GAY NIGGAS LIKE YOU, LEROY." Riley replied.

Desperately, Leroy tried to think of a comeback, something to outdo the cornrolled boy just as how he had practiced in bed incase something like this happened, but...but...

He was brain-dead.

"Ha! Can't think of nothin' can ya?!" Riley laughed cockily, and as Riley laughed, Leroy's eyes lit up in realization,

"Oh yea~! Riley, I got somethin' from today!!"

"What is it nigga?" Riley stopped laughing and stared at his partner.

Leroy pouted, digging into his pockets, "Uh...um...." he smiled, "Here it is!"

Riley's eyes doubled seeing the tip of a sliver pistol coming out of one of Leroy's many pockets,

"O' SHIT NIGGA!" Riley gasped out, "You got a GU-"

"It's a paintball gun." Leroy had simply told with a blink as he looked clueless as clueless cold be.

Riley shared a blink before releasing a huff of disappointment, "AH."

"I got two..." Leroy pointed out, "See…I was kinda hopin' dat you n' me could jus run 'round Woodcrest and blow paint on these people's faces…" it was amazing how shy and timid he had sounded.

A devilish smirk appeared upon Riley's face, "Yea, let's...let's give d'ese white folks some...color."

Leroy let out a bubble of laughter.

*^*^*^*^*

"Are you POSITIVELY SHO' dat yer Granddad said you was aiight to come out?" Leroy asked in concern, Riley growled; this was probably the thousandth time the boy had asked.

"I WISH YOU'D STOP ASKIN' 'BOUT DAT OLD MAN!!"

"Well..." Leroy hung his head low, "I know when you do stuff like this...you get beat afterwards once ya Granddad finds out...Huey even told me dat you cry sometimes cuz it be hurtin'..."

"WHUT?!" Riley shouted, _'WHEN THE FUCK DID HUEY TELL YOU DAT?!'_ "I...I dun CRY! BITCHES cry Leroy, and I, AIN'T, NO....**BIA~TCH**~!!!"

Leroy remained quiet, knowing that this was an perfect opportunity to be called 'a fag' or 'bitch' by changing the situation, shakily handing Riley his respective 'gun.' "Here ya go, man..."

As if forgetting what he had gotten upset about, Riley smirked taking the realistic-looking-pistol from Leroy's hands, "Maann, I thought these was REAL fo' a sec!"

"Yea, I know." Leroy replied, "Cuz, at the office, where my dad work at, one of the people he work wit gave it to him, they wuz custom-"

"AY!"

Riley frowned, "I dun WANNA hear yo' story 'bout you n' yo daddy!"

Leroy pouted, "Sorry Reezy."

Riley smirked seeing a Caucasian female, in her late teens, walking with a flock of friends in the little town-square, Leroy noticed this, "Ay, whut you-"

**POW**

**POW**

"AH!"

The little White girls had shrieked; yellow and red paint staining their dresses and hair. Riley burst out into laughter whilst Leroy had been awestruck at the sight. The girls then glared daggers at the two nigger children, bound to call the authority on them or--

As Leroy felt like a deer caught within headlights, Riley quickly grabbed him by the arm, "C'MON CHRIS TUCKER! WE GOTTA GO FO' KA$HA N' IN HER CLIQUE GET DA PO-POS OUT ON US!"

"WO...WOAH, RILEY! WE MOVIN' TO QUICK!!"

"NIGGA-" Riley released Leroy's wrist, "YOU RUN YA SELF THEN!"

The nappy-haired boy stumbled at first once being released, however, he quickly regained his balance and as soon as that he felt leveled on the ground, he dashed alongside his friend.

*^*^*^*^

They were like little criminals they were; Yung Reezy and Leezy.

Hitting any professional looking business man, any chick who Riley considered a hoe, and then sprinting as fast as they could seeing as how their lives depended on it.

Yes…Leroy and Riley would both face the whoopin' of a lifetime, but, that really didn't matter at the second.

"WHEW!"

Riley shouted out in exhaustion, resting his back against the tree bark that had been behind him. Sweat rolled down as brow as he panted heavily.

Carelessly, he threw the paintgun to the side of him with a goofy smile plastered on his face.

"AY!"

Leroy, finding some sort of energy, grabbed the gun and eyed it for any damages. "BRA!!" His light brown eyes scanned over tto his best friend, "Ya can't be throwin' meh stuff!!!"

Riley rolled his eyes, not caring much for Leroy's property. "Whateva, nigga."

Slowly, he slid down from the tree and to the ground; memories of the various people yelling out in surprise and outrage at the two wild hood-niggers who 'attacked' them, he openly laughed, "MAN! Dat was FUN right there!!!!"

"Ay Riley, I kinda feel like..."

Riley's giddy expression changed to a sour one, he eyed Leroy harshly, "You BETTA NOT be tryin' to say nothin' gay ta me nigga!"

"I ain't gay!" Leroy quickly defended himself with his 'catch-phrase', "I was bout to tell ya dat...I feel like we in a place dat don't belong ta us..."

"Don't belong ta us?" Riley rolled his dark orbs, "PSH! In 'bout....I dunno, a YEAR or so, dis area gon' be called _Reezy-Crest_, ya heard?"

"Naw! Like..." Leroy eyed his surroundings....they were at a hilltop...there was a tree...his eyes lit up, "We in Huey n' Jazmine's spot!!"

Riley blinked before growling hearing the name _Jazmine_, "Teh. Dat hoe got me **HUMILIATED** today!!" he remembered.

"I don't think Jazmine a hoe." Leroy admitted, "She seem ni…-' his caramel eyes bulged, "Hol' up Reezy, _humiliated_? What happened between ya'll two!?"

"Aiight, aiight…" Riley began, eyebrows arched down and a frown on his lips, "We gon' to Texas, like, sometime next month, right?"

_'You goin' to Texas!?'_

Leroy blinked in shock before putting that issue aside, "Right..."

"And like, Huey said he ain't wanna go cuz a' KKK n' 'em." Riley rolled his eyes at his brother's 'stupidity.' "Then, I saw Jazmine get all disappointed n' shit, so I was like, 'Huey? Why not go, fo' da bitch?' in everythin', THEN, everybody starts laughin' at me!" he growled.

Leroy took a seat down next to Riley, "Why'd they start laughin'?"

"Cuz..." Riley frowned, "They think dat I think girls got...." he grumbled, "_Cooties_."

Leroy burst out laughing, Riley's eye size doubled, "AY, LEROY, WHATCHU LAUGHIN' FOR!?"

"Wel...well, by da way you be treatin' Cindy...N' by the way you act toward Trina...." Leroy couldn't even finish, holding his gut as he continued to laugh aloud with tears seeping from the corners of his eyes. Riley got _more _annoyed.

"You pro'lly DO think girls might got cooties!!!!"

"NO I DON'T!!!" The corn-rolled boy half-yelled, "Cindy jus a wannabe groupie-"

It was true, the way she tried fallowing Leroy and Riley day by day it was so obvious she wanted to be affiliated with the Chi-Town Boys.

"N' Trina…!" he blushed, okay...he was a _lil' bit_ freaked out by Leroy's older _teen_ sister.

She...had..._breasts_! And, she was ALWAYS huggin' him! All a' dat Yung Reezy ain't needed! And as Leroy continued to laugh his head off at the discovery of Riley's possible 'fear' of females, the boy's face turned red.

"Man, fuck you n' yo' paintguns!" Riley stood onto his feet, Leroy goofily smiled,

"Where ya goin', Riley?!"

He sharply stared at the male, "HOME."

"Aii....Aiight then!"

--

Riley growled, clinching his fist as he now stood at the bottom of the hill and Leroy _still _laughing at him, "Dis some ol' bullshit!" Riley mumbled, turning forward,

"I dun think girls got cooties...but....hoes got cooties, fo' sho..."

_**To Be Continued~!**__**  
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I'm TRYING to be active on Fanfiction again, and, this idea was lingering in my head for a WHILE before I actually decided to type it out so….I'm going to TRY to finish this. AND, rewrite Daddy's Back! Too, first chapter of that is in progress! 8D

_Hoes Have Cooties_ is a 'mini-saga' of some sorts that take place before ACTUAL events of this story; it might just have two or three parts to it before it takes a timeskip and their all OLDER. I guess the title comes from that 'old song' Upgrade U by Beyonce…I think when I was starting this off with the first paragraphs I had been listening to it on my computer…I even saved it under the title. X3

Ah, I'd absolutely loved it if you reviewed this and told me your thoughts, like, if you liked it or not. So, plz review~  
-_Maria33 _


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